Post date: Apr 15, 2021 3:57:19 PM
At the January, 2021 meeting of the MK Council of Faiths they addressed the very sensitive subject of "Domestic Abuse & Violence within Faith Communities".
The discussion was facilitated by four outside speakers:
Sue Burke, Chief Executive of MK Act
Lauren Townsend, Cabinet member for Community Safety
Paul Oxley, from St Marks
Maggie Greaves, from Citizens:MK
Sue, CEO of MK ACT outlined the definition of Domestic Abuse.
It can be:
• psychological
• physical
• sexual
• financial
• emotional
It is not a one off event it is a pattern of behaviour.
• Domestic abuse accounts for 25% of all reported violent crime
• 1 in 4 women & 1in 6 men will experience DA in their lifetime
• A woman is assaulted on average 35 times before she seeks help – 50 times before she obtains effective support
• 2 women a week are killed by their partner or ex-partner
• A woman will try to leave on average 7 times before she leaves for good
MK ACT has a helpline, 03443 754307.
Their website is www.mkact.com. Web chat starting.
They have a refuge with accommodation and support for up to 28 families – including children.
Lauren, Cabinet member for Community Safety.
12,000 adults experience Domestic Abuse in MK each year. Many don’t come forward. How can we help? Often kept away from friends and family.
Can often be an early experience for young people, affecting their future behaviour.
Not just women affected, but women more likely to be hurt or killed. Abused men more likely to be in a homosexual relationship.
Women from BAME communities are more likely to be subject to domestic abuse, but less likely to come forward.
The onus MUST be on the abuser not the victim.
It is thought Domestic Abuse has gone up during Lockdown, even if the official numbers are down – people don’t have the opportunity to report.
Paul, vicar of St Marks – First involvement was as a trainee vicar on attachment to the police. First told 1 in 4 women are victims – regardless of faith, social group or geography.
Not heard abuse mentioned before.
Came to MK in 2012. Got involved with MK Act, before Sue’s time. Reluctance from MK Act due to Christian church’s history – not a safe place for survivors.
Aspects of the Church which can cause difficulties for those abused include:
· Married for LIFE before God.
· Must forgive.
· Male dominated.
Paul would love other faith leaders to get involved to provide a safe place for victims.
Pick up issue in marriage preparation!
Churches should be safe places.
Paul believes that it is important that Church leaders are educated to prevent misunderstanding of Christian teaching which may lead to abuse.
It is best to sign post victims to professionals.
Maggie, Citizens:MK – There is intergenerational abuse within families.
Sue – highest increase is in older age groups.
Douglas – Christian Churches historically have put the protection of the reputation of the organisation above that of the abused victims, often children.
After the initial presentations members broke into break out groups for facilitated discussions.
Plenary Session –
Need info on where to sign post people to.
Sue will provide information. (See below).
MKC working with GPs – not all know about MKACT.
Relate is not the correct organisation to refer abuse victims to.
Suresh will raise at Council at the Temple.
John – bring some ‘difficult texts’ which may promote male dominance out of their dark corners.
Male dominated society’s part of the problem.
It is not up to women to explain the problem to man – they need to step up to the plate and get educated.
Victims told it is their fault. We need to break the taboo.
We need to educate the children to stop future generations being affected. Should it be covered in schools?
Useful contacts and links sent after the meeting:
MKAct can be contacted at info@mk-act.org. Professionals only
can phone 01908 295731.
Helpline & Crisis Intervention (one stop shop) 03443 754307.
Church of Christ the Cornerstone has agreed to put MK Act details and posters on the back of all their toilet cubicle doors. Perhaps something for other faiths to consider.
The whiteribbon organisation campaigns to promote the active involvement of men in the reduction of violence against women.